I'm Only Human
by ThirteenWishes
Summary: One day, she won't be in the background.  One day, she won't be an extra.  One day, he'll notice her.  She'll be his shining star. Onesided Imogen/Eli oneshot.


It starts the day she sees a hearse in the school parking lot.

It's the first day of her junior year; she's been at Degrassi for a little less than a year now, and it seems like all the good stuff, all the _drama_, happens to someone else. The closest she gets is when she's on stage, and she can't think of anything better than being in the spotlight. At least then someone pays attention to her. At least she's important in some way, even if she's just in the background.

She feels like that, all the time, like she's in the background, watching the story play out before her. Like she's an _extra_. God, she hates that word. _Extra_. Superfluity. Not required. The show will go on without her.

But the day she sees the hearse, she knows that everything is going to change.

One week later, she lands the lead role in the school play. It's a stupid story and she's playing an awful, airheaded girl, but she doesn't care. She doesn't care if she has to get down on her hands and knees and bark like a dog, as long as she's important. As long as she's not an _extra _anymore.

And the hearse. That hearse, it's her good-luck charm. Since she saw the hearse, everything's changed.

Her parents have started to pay a little more attention, for reasons unknown to her.

She's making some new friends. A girl named Jocelyn, a girl named Natalie who's just as ditzy as the Imogen's character, but she doesn't care. Those who can't lead follow, and she's starting to realize that this is just like being in the spotlight. This is the best in the world.

All eyes are on her. She's the leading lady of the performance of her life.

That hearse, that's what started it. It was all because of that hearse.

So it makes sense that the owner of that hearse, _Eli Goldsworthy_, well, he's her good-luck charm, too. From the first day she sees him, she's attracted to him. His bad boy attitude, his dark clothes, his sarcastic humor, and his car. His hearse.

He's everything to her, and he doesn't know she's alive.

She's an extra to him.

But one day, she'll be more than that.

She'll be the leading lady. The star of the show.

_One day._

000

It's almost painful, seeing Eli with _her_. Clare Edwards. For the life of her, Imogen doesn't know what he sees in this girl, this pure little Christian, this frigid little prude. Sure, she's pretty. Sure, she's nice. But she's _boring_. She's _predictable_. She's Imogen's complete opposite.

And she has Eli.

Anyone can see that Clare has completely stolen Eli's heart, and Imogen can't help but feel angry, like Clare's stolen _her _Eli. Which is completely irrational, because Eli doesn't even know her name.

She's hoping that he'll, by some miracle, come see the play and think to himself, _Wow, that Imogen girl, that leading lady, she's amazing. She's beautiful and interesting and she's everything I want._

And for a while, she lives in this fantasy world where one day Eli will open his eyes. One day he'll realize that she's the one for him all along.

Deep down, she knows there's no chance. She knows that this will never happen.

But she can hope.

Maybe, one day, she won't be an extra anymore.

Maybe, one day, Eli will know her name.

Maybe, one day, everything she's ever wanted, everything she's ever wished for…

You get the picture.

She knows that it will never happen, but she _has _to keep trying.

It's like… it's like she's a woman who keeps trying and trying to get pregnant but can't. If Imogen goes and talks to Eli, introduces herself, well, that's like that women getting her fertility tested or whatever the hell it's called. She's not ready to take that chance; she doesn't _want _to solve this riddle. So Imogen keeps trying and trying and telling herself that it's going to happen, just like that imaginary woman keeps trying and trying and hoping that this time, it'll happen. Every time that Eli passes her in the hallway and doesn't look up, every time she sees him even and reminds herself that he doesn't even know who she is, it's like another one of that woman's failed pregnancy tests, another one of those agonizing three minutes only for a negative, a shattered dream.

She knows that the odds are stacked against her, but she keeps trying. Not only because she wants to, but because she has to.

Because she can't admit defeat. She can't let herself down, not again. Not like she always does.

She's Imogen Moreno, and she'll get this. Someday, somehow, she'll be the shining star. Someday, somehow, that made-up woman will get a positive test. A beautiful baby.

One day, it'll all happen.

She just has to keep trying.

000

Vegas Night.

Imogen, she's asked out by a couple guys, but she declines. She knows that she has no chance. She knows that Eli will never ask her.

But she's waiting for him. She's hoping against hope.

He doesn't.

It shouldn't surprise her. She's used to it by now.

It shouldn't hurt her anymore.

But she went with Natalie and Jocelyn and then left them alone to gossip and drink punch together. She stands in the middle of the dance floor, motionless, her eyes closed and her head tilted back a little.

She knows that people are giving her weird looks, and she doesn't care. To be perfectly honest, she's enjoying it.

And then Mr. Simpson says that the school is in lockdown and everything just completely goes to hell.

The first thought that Imogen has is Eli. She has to find Eli. It doesn't matter that they've never spoken. Nothing matters except for she _has to find him _and she _can't_.

She searches frantically and she _can't find him._

Later, she learns that he was almost stabbed. That Mark Fitzgerald almost killed him.

She could have lost him, before he even knew her.

Everything could have fallen apart.

He could have _died_.

But she is never going to let that happen. If anything or anyone hurts him ever again, she's going to be there. She's going to be the one to fix him. She's going to be the one to save him.

Because she's Imogen Moreno.

And she's stuck in limbo, in purgatory. She's trapped in those three minutes, waiting for a positive or a negative.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

But she's Imogen fucking Moreno and she's going to win. Not because she wants to, but because she has to.

Because she _needs _her good luck charm.

000

**A/N: Don't ask. I have no idea what this is.**

**It takes five seconds to review. Five seconds out of 86,400 in a day. So let's live like we're dying.**

**(Song reference because I'm a dork and proud of it.)**

**I do not own Degrassi.**


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